Hide your children! No butts are safe!

Hello, my name is Liz, and I own a butt biter. That's right, my cat, Jezebel, is a bona-fide tried and true butt biter extraordinaire. Let me explain.

Jezebel is what one would call a bit of an affection whore, hence the name. She LOVES to be petted. She especially enjoys a good rubbing when a person is using the toilet. It doesn't matter if that person is planning a long visit or a quick in-and-out job. She comes in with motor a-blazin' and she rubs up against your leg, or the cabinet, or door, or whatever she can rub up against to get the love-fest started. Being that she is too cute to resist, I or Jeremy will begin to scratch her chin, back, grab her cat bag, etc. If I stop for any period of time she comes over to "rub" her face up against my exposed thigh. Then she opens up her mouth and bites your leg-butt. The leg-butt is the area between your upper thigh and cheek that tends to squish up when sitting on the toilet seat.

I had never actually experienced this before. I am not sure why; maybe I never gave up petting her. Jeremy had told me about this alleged butt biting, and I laughed thinking he was kind of mistaking her face rubbing mixed with the occasional exposed tooth to an actual chomp. No sir, today as I sat for only a moment, Jezie came in, like always, and when I stopped rubbing her for for mere seconds, she came over and nibbled my behind.

Shameful. Despicable. Adorable.

Gettin' Fancy!

Last night Jeremy and I went to see David Sedaris do a reading at UNLV. It was great. He was fabulous, funny, entertaining, and all around super duper.

The line to have our tickets taken, started to back up a bit, and we found ourselves behind a group of 4 middle aged white people. 3 of the four people were dressed like they were seeing a show. Not a fancy Opera, but more like Business Casual. The man wore slacks and a button up, and the two women wore skirts and some sort of blouse. But one of the men in the group decided to go all out super glam. He wore a button up shirt, a tie, green khaki shorts and Teva sandals. That's right, shirt and tie plus shorts and sandals. He was the clothing version of a Mullet. Business on top, and party on the bottom.

I think I should revoke his right to dress himself.

In-house exterminator(s)

We have had the world's largest hole in our screen door for the past few weeks. We have had a smaller version of it for about three years, but it has grown into the largest hole only recently. It started because our electricity meter is inside our sunroom. The dogs have access to the sunroom from the family room on their way out to the dog-door to go the the bathroom while we are at work. When the meter man/woman comes once a month he/she must look through our sliding glass door, through the snarling dogs, and read our meter. They don't ask us to move our meter, so it has remained where it is. But, when the said snarling dogs jump up to try and bite the face off of the meter wo(man), they also scratch the screen. Long story short, they have created a hole at Steve-o height that has grown to the size of a volleyball.

At night, when the screen door is open, since we live in Las Vegas, and it is wonderful outside, all the moths, in Las Vegas, come through the giant hole and fly into our house towards the florescent lights in the sun room and in the kitchen. The cats and Suzi want to kill these moths. I am all for this.

I can tell when there is a moth in the house in three ways.

1) When I go into the kitchen the moths fly at my head

2) There is a cat on the counter staring at the ceiling -- at which point the cat is yelled at, shooed off the counter, and cleaner is applied to the area where their rump just rested

3) Suzi is running around the room staring at the ceiling with her ears in full triangle mode

Last night we had two moths in the sun room. Vern was first on the case. She was chirping and jumping around, but she is only a foot tall and can't get up to get the moths once they fly above her head. So Jeremy lifted her up and she put her nose right up to the moths and try to grab them at the ceiling. The entire time she was in the air, her paws were spread with claws out. It was awesome. She was in full attack mode, but he could only hold her up for about 30 seconds at a time because he was laughing too hard.

Then Suzi came in, and was rushing around the room after the moths. Jeremy would brush them off the ceiling and she would lunge. They would fly up, he would brush off, she would lunge. This continued until eventually it swooped down far enough that she caught it in her mouth, and she ate it like a dog treat.

I love my pets.

Lake Tahoe Fun

We went to Lake Tahoe last week for a little fun in the woods. We rented a cabin, brought the dogs, and had fun exploring the chilly shores of the lake. Here are some photos of the dogs very much enjoying themselves in the water. It is amazing how a lab can swim in a lake, while at home actually chatter their teeth when getting a bath with the hose when it is 80 degrees outside. I think somebody might be a little bit of a drama queen dog. That would be Suzi.

Back to the photos...

The whole family - minus the cats of course.

Don't take away my kitty

Last night everyone was coming into the bedroom for a good night of Zs. The entire family sleeps in one room. Steve and Suzi have their own beds, and the cats share our bed. It is a very hair filled room, very little of which comes from Jeremy or me.

Vernie was on the bed acting adorable and I came over to give her some scratches. She was quite pleased and gave me the squinty I-love-you-so-much-mom face. She purred and made tiny little happy sounds.

Then I picked up my book I had set down next to her. I picked it up and managed to drop it on Vern's face.

"Oh no, Vernie!" I said.

She ran out of the room and under the guest bed. I went in to try and make her feel better. She saw me and moved to the other side of the bed. I went to the other side, and she escaped into the dining room. Hiding under the table she wouldn't even look at me. I managed to pet her head for a minute and then she ran into the living room to hide behind the couch. I went behind the couch and she went under the coffee table. Finally I managed to pick her up, and she remained in brick form. No purrs, no claws in my back to keep her from falling off. No, she simply remained stiff and mad.

I finally gave up. About 15 minutes later she decided to forgive me and came back to bed. I was reading the drop-on-Vern's-head book, but she didn't mind. She came over, and I moved the book to make room. Except when I moved the book I managed to take out one of her legs.

I am a horrible mother.

Shake harder boy!

For the past few, well more like 12, months we have been paying Las Vegas Water Authority a hefty sum. We thought it was due to the fact that we have a pool in our backyard, and we had never had a pool, so pools must be expensive, and the Water company would never let someone continue to pay large amounts when we are in a drought and wasting water, right?

Wrong.

They don't care about saving water. They want to collect people's money, every month for all eternity. They do not want to come out to your house and tell you that you are wasting water. We even called when we found out what other people's water bills were each month. We have a friend who pays about $8 - $10 per month. What?! We pay about $150 a month. Something is not right. When we called to say that we thought we might have a leak, they said, "oh no, that is totally normal to pay that much."

Wrong (part 2)

We brought a plumber out who helped us find a MASSIVE leak in our front yard. Now how much do we pay? $18.

Bitches

Poor planning...or excellent product placement?

**Viewer discretion advised - the following blog may contain subject matter that may be icky or perhaps funny. You be the judge.

I was watching "Bones" this morning. "Bones" is one of my new favorite shows, and it is on in syndication constantly on TNT. It is about a forensic anthropologist and an FBI agent who work together, with other Jeffersonian Institute Science people, to solve murders with what remains of bodies. It also has new episodes on Fox, but enough about how I love the show and everyone should watch.

The episode was about a man found in a bathtub filled with chlorine bleach and drain cleaner/un-clogger. The man's skin was beginning to fall off, bones were being eaten away, even the top of his head came loose from his scalp. All gross, yes?

Well, the characters then went on to describe how the drain-o/liquid plumber product was so corrosive, that it was eating away everything. How they only had soft pieces of bones and skin to figure out what had happened to the man in order to solve his murder.

Then...the first commercial break, and who was the sponsor?

"This episode, brought to you by Liquid Plumber."

Ew.